My bio, your input

Ok, I have to write out my bio again…and I hate writing about myself. Feels like it should be called a Oh-I’m-so-awesome-and-here’s-why-thingy.

So…I’m looking for your input. Here are two drafts I’ve written up.

With the goal of once again making the church the most creative place on the planet Michael is the founder of Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. He is also the Creative Director for the Center for Church Communication and Church Marketing Sucks. You can often find him speaking at many conferences including HOW, Echo, MinistryCOM as well his own blog Jesus Hates Papyrus as he continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates.

Michael Buckingham blah, blah, blah Holy Cow! Creative etc, etc, church’s creativity and design studio. [insert making the church the most creative place on the planet]. Creative Director at Center for Church Communication, yada, yada, speaks at a lot of conferences [plug HOW, Echo, Cultivate, MinistryCOM, Story, etc] don’t forget Jesus Hates Papyrus…as he continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates. (he’s more of a visual guy than a words guy…if you couldn’t tell)

First a poll (in a pop-up window):

And then any suggested changes?

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  • http://daniellehartland.com danielle

    i voted for B because I thought A sounded…arrogant (for lack of a better word). if it were me, and thinking through your identity, i’d go toward the direction of B, but with a bit less blah, blah.

    Michael Buckingham is the founder of Holy Cow! Creative blah, blah, the church’s creativity and design studio. [insert making the church the most creative place on the planet]. Creative Director at Center for Church Communication, yada, yada, speaks at a lot of conferences [plug HOW, Echo, Cultivate, MinistryCOM, Story, etc] don’t forget blogging at Jesus Hates Papyrus…as he continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates. (he’s more of a visual guy than a words guy…if you couldn’t tell)

    • Michael Buckingham

      Yeah, that’s what I hate about writing bios they do sound arrogant. I’m just not very good at tooting my own horn. I need to take Jeff Fisher’s class (tooting your own horn) one of these days.

  • http://daniellehartland.com danielle

    i voted for B because I thought A sounded…arrogant (for lack of a better word). if it were me, and thinking through your identity, i’d go toward the direction of B, but with a bit less blah, blah.

    Michael Buckingham is the founder of Holy Cow! Creative blah, blah, the church’s creativity and design studio. [insert making the church the most creative place on the planet]. Creative Director at Center for Church Communication, yada, yada, speaks at a lot of conferences [plug HOW, Echo, Cultivate, MinistryCOM, Story, etc] don’t forget blogging at Jesus Hates Papyrus…as he continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates. (he’s more of a visual guy than a words guy…if you couldn’t tell)

    • Michael Buckingham

      Yeah, that’s what I hate about writing bios they do sound arrogant. I’m just not very good at tooting my own horn. I need to take Jeff Fisher’s class (tooting your own horn) one of these days.

  • Josh Hill

    personally prefer option #2, but could come across a bit arrogant. i say save both and on case by case scenario play bio roulette.

  • Josh Hill

    personally prefer option #2, but could come across a bit arrogant. i say save both and on case by case scenario play bio roulette.

  • Lori Bailey

    As much as I like the idea of the 2nd one, it could come across like you don’t think it’s worthwhile to communicate about yourself…prob. not the message you want to convey to churches who you’re encouraging to promote themselves effectively.

    • Michael Buckingham

      That is very good input…I wonder though if it cements the idea that we can’t just communicate with words?

      • Lori Bailey

        That’s not where I went with it, but, then again, I am a word-girl ;)

  • Lori Bailey

    As much as I like the idea of the 2nd one, it could come across like you don’t think it’s worthwhile to communicate about yourself…prob. not the message you want to convey to churches who you’re encouraging to promote themselves effectively.

    • Michael Buckingham

      That is very good input…I wonder though if it cements the idea that we can’t just communicate with words?

      • Lori Bailey

        That’s not where I went with it, but, then again, I am a word-girl ;)

  • http://eyesaydesign.posterous.com/ Clint

    “B” is the winner.

    Unless of course you could get your mom to write your bio. Seriously, that would be awesome and I would read it, and tell my friends about it.

    • Michael Buckingham

      Oooh…I know she’d love to do that. But talk about sounding arrogant. My mom is a very proud mamma, which is lovely but she thinks I walk on water….please don’t tell her otherwise.

  • http://eyesaydesign.posterous.com/ Clint

    “B” is the winner.

    Unless of course you could get your mom to write your bio. Seriously, that would be awesome and I would read it, and tell my friends about it.

    • Michael Buckingham

      Oooh…I know she’d love to do that. But talk about sounding arrogant. My mom is a very proud mamma, which is lovely but she thinks I walk on water….please don’t tell her otherwise.

  • http://strunkwriter.com stacy

    My problem with #1 isn’t that it sounds arrogant. My problem is that it is poorly constructed. (At the risk of sounding arrogant myself.) #2 sounds like you don’t give a rat’s patootie.

    While still not perfect, I think this is better:

    With the goal of making the church the most creative place on the planet, Michael founded Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. He is also the current Creative Director for the Center for Church Communication and Church Marketing Sucks. You can find him speaking at conferences such as HOW, Echo, and MinistryCOM or visit his blog, Jesus Hates Papyrus, where tries to help the church reflect Christ in its communications.

    Hmmm. That last sentence is a toughie.

    Anyway, if you still think it sounds too arrogant, why not switch from “the church” to “churches”? Then, it sounds like you’re helping individuals, instead of trying to change THE CHURCH.

    • http://daniellehartland.com danielle

      this is good. i like this.

  • http://strunkwriter.com stacy

    My problem with #1 isn’t that it sounds arrogant. My problem is that it is poorly constructed. (At the risk of sounding arrogant myself.) #2 sounds like you don’t give a rat’s patootie.

    While still not perfect, I think this is better:

    With the goal of making the church the most creative place on the planet, Michael founded Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. He is also the current Creative Director for the Center for Church Communication and Church Marketing Sucks. You can find him speaking at conferences such as HOW, Echo, and MinistryCOM or visit his blog, Jesus Hates Papyrus, where tries to help the church reflect Christ in its communications.

    Hmmm. That last sentence is a toughie.

    Anyway, if you still think it sounds too arrogant, why not switch from “the church” to “churches”? Then, it sounds like you’re helping individuals, instead of trying to change THE CHURCH.

    • http://daniellehartland.com danielle

      this is good. i like this.

  • http://www.jimgrayonline.com Jim Gray

    i like to write mine in the 3rd person…

  • http://www.jimgrayonline.com Jim Gray

    i like to write mine in the 3rd person…

  • Lady TMarie

    I think the 1st bio would appeal to people who prefer more traditional/formal church communications. They want to know why they should listen to your advice.

    I think the 2nd bio would appeal to other creatives because it’s an example of your creativity with words.

  • Lady TMarie

    I think the 1st bio would appeal to people who prefer more traditional/formal church communications. They want to know why they should listen to your advice.

    I think the 2nd bio would appeal to other creatives because it’s an example of your creativity with words.

  • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com tracey solomon

    Ok. So you’re not a fan of words… then dude- make us a picture bio.

    Maybe some kind of an art journal type thing-who says bios need to be words?-

    Sure- maybe some words- some pics.. a montage …a snapshot…

    Could it communicate what you need to?

    Maybe. I say give it a shot.

    Visual bio- I like it.

    • Michael Buckingham

      Oh, words are good…but visuals move people.

      A visual bio would be cool, but wouldn’t work for most purposes. Usually it’s for insert in conference handout, website, etc. For my own site though I might have to put that on the list.

      • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com tracey solomon

        Whew. Good thing words are ok.. since words are how I paint pictures;)

        My opinion: Stronger first sentence on #1. Maybe…

        Making the church the most creative place on the planet, drives Michael to…. (or is the vision Michael has for… blah blah without the blah blah…)

  • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com tracey solomon

    Ok. So you’re not a fan of words… then dude- make us a picture bio.

    Maybe some kind of an art journal type thing-who says bios need to be words?-

    Sure- maybe some words- some pics.. a montage …a snapshot…

    Could it communicate what you need to?

    Maybe. I say give it a shot.

    Visual bio- I like it.

    • Michael Buckingham

      Oh, words are good…but visuals move people.

      A visual bio would be cool, but wouldn’t work for most purposes. Usually it’s for insert in conference handout, website, etc. For my own site though I might have to put that on the list.

      • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com tracey solomon

        Whew. Good thing words are ok.. since words are how I paint pictures;)

        My opinion: Stronger first sentence on #1. Maybe…

        Making the church the most creative place on the planet, drives Michael to…. (or is the vision Michael has for… blah blah without the blah blah…)

  • Michael Buckingham

    Okay, we’re still at a tie…it’s neck and neck.

    Let’s take this another step:
    Here’s a google doc of both…edit away!
    http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZnTToyyZbTeZGc2Zmpmd2RfMGNwNXg5a2Q4&hl=en

  • Michael Buckingham

    Okay, we’re still at a tie…it’s neck and neck.

    Let’s take this another step:
    Here’s a google doc of both…edit away!
    http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZnTToyyZbTeZGc2Zmpmd2RfMGNwNXg5a2Q4&hl=en

  • http://www.cautiouscreative.com Katie

    I honestly like A. I like that it tells me the WHY, tells me how, and tells me what you do. Would agree with the comment above about a slight rewrite though:

    With the goal of making the church the most creative place on the planet, Michael founded Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. He is the current Creative Director for the Center for Church Communication and Church Marketing Sucks. You can also find him speaking at conferences such as HOW, Echo, and MinistryCOM. Check out his blog, Jesus Hates Papyrus, where he continues to help the church intentionally reflect Christ in its (or the?) communication process.

    The above, just a suggestion.

  • http://www.cautiouscreative.com Katie

    I honestly like A. I like that it tells me the WHY, tells me how, and tells me what you do. Would agree with the comment above about a slight rewrite though:

    With the goal of making the church the most creative place on the planet, Michael founded Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. He is the current Creative Director for the Center for Church Communication and Church Marketing Sucks. You can also find him speaking at conferences such as HOW, Echo, and MinistryCOM. Check out his blog, Jesus Hates Papyrus, where he continues to help the church intentionally reflect Christ in its (or the?) communication process.

    The above, just a suggestion.

  • http://www.jesushatespapyrus.com Michael Buckingham

    And the final result?

    A

    and B.

    A will be the standard, but I’ll pull out B when the audience is right.

    I’ll also use the following as more of the “elevator speech”
    I work with churches to help them communicate with clarity and creativity, both through my own design studio (Holy Cow! Creative) and w the Center for Church Communications (Church Marketing Sucks).

  • http://www.jesushatespapyrus.com Michael Buckingham

    And the final result?

    A

    and B.

    A will be the standard, but I’ll pull out B when the audience is right.

    I’ll also use the following as more of the “elevator speech”
    I work with churches to help them communicate with clarity and creativity, both through my own design studio (Holy Cow! Creative) and w the Center for Church Communications (Church Marketing Sucks).

  • http://gingercreek.org Jeni Pelletier

    How about:

    “Michael is the founder of Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. His goal is to make the church the most creative place on the planet. Michael works with churches to help them communicate with clarity and creativity, both through my own design studio (Holy Cow! Creative) and with the Center for Church Communications (Church Marketing Sucks). Michael continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates through conferences including HOW, Echo, MinistryCOM as well his own blog Jesus Hates Papyrus..”

    I’ve been in communications @ Ginger Creek for 2 months and still am honing in on my writing skills.
    Good Luck!

  • http://gingercreek.org Jeni Pelletier

    How about:

    “Michael is the founder of Holy Cow Creative, the church’s creativity and design studio. His goal is to make the church the most creative place on the planet. Michael works with churches to help them communicate with clarity and creativity, both through my own design studio (Holy Cow! Creative) and with the Center for Church Communications (Church Marketing Sucks). Michael continues to help the church reflect Christ in the way it communicates through conferences including HOW, Echo, MinistryCOM as well his own blog Jesus Hates Papyrus..”

    I’ve been in communications @ Ginger Creek for 2 months and still am honing in on my writing skills.
    Good Luck!

  • Michael Melahouris

    How about just…

    Jesus hates Bios.