Now what are you going to do with it? How is going to that conference going to change the way you do ministry today? I worry that for many, the answers is ‘nothing’. What I often observe is people nodding their head yes as the speaker pours out great information and then pat each other on the back telling each other what a great job we’re doing. We’re afraid to hurt people’s feelings as if it’s unchristian to tell someone they’re missing the mark.

Now don’t get me wrong, a big part of any conference is to encourage one another and we should be building one another up. I submit to you though that just nodding our head as someone talks about how they ‘get it’ and are doing ‘great’ things when you know otherwise doesn’t actual build them up but sets them up for failure later.

I’m not just pointing fingers, I’m guilty of it. I like to make people happy and don’t want to hurt feelings so often I’m the one nodding my head.

How do we break through this? Can I tell you that I think you’re missing the mark and not be a jerk?

…he ultimately decided not to invite us in for a meeting. Surprised, the marketing director asked why. The leader responded, “Because Phil is brutally honest, and I don’t think we’re ready for that.”

I don’t think sugarcoating will produce excellence. The path of least resistance will be easy to travel, but will it take you to where you really want to go? Of course the title of this post isn’t how I’d bring the news…but even with lots of love how do I tell you that you shouldn’t be designing and not hurt your feelings?

See, telling someone what they are doing isn’t up to par is hard. The problem often lies in the emotional connection they have to the work, to the video, to the logo, to the preaching…etc. We aren’t just critiquing the work, we are critiquing the worker. That’s why it begins with relationship and continues with choosing the right battles at the right time.

What if we…

I think that’s a powerful phrase. It reminds us that we work as a team and it focuses on the work and the end result.

How about you? How do you give criticism, how do you take it?